


Not Dead

by SavMalfoy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, John doesn't know, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Sherlock jealous of Mary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 14:19:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7318651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavMalfoy/pseuds/SavMalfoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Watson found Sherlock before he jumped in season 2.<br/>John already met Mary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Dead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smts0529](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smts0529/gifts).



Sherlock Holmes raked his long fingers into his dark, curled hair; staring at John Watson from the distance, who was whispering into the end of the phone, a sick love-twisted smile painted upon his face as he spoke to his loved one.   
“Mary, I’m fine. Sherlock-yes-he’s fine, Mary.” John paused, listening to every word that Mary had to say in tumbled and rushed sentences. “No. He didn’t-He didn’t jump, Mary. Yes, he’s fine. He’s right here beside me. Mary, please, I don’t know. Just-just let me think woman! I’ll call you later,” he promised softly, ending the call before glancing back at Sherlock, who cozied himself beside the building wall, John’s jacket laid across his shoulders as a blanket.  
“How’s Mary?” Sherlock questioned calmly, but he couldn’t care less about the bitch. He rather strangle the man-stealer before asking about her and her day.  
“She’s fine…” John started, trailing his words. “How are you?”  
“I’m fine, as usual.”  
“But you’re not. You tried to jump off a building, Sherlock. You tried to kill yourself!”  
“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I didn’t exactly achieve my plans.”  
“Do not joke, Sherlock. Do not joke,” John demanded, his face flushing red. “How could you do that? You called me. You called me, out of the blue, and waited for me to watch you die. How could you say goodbye like that? What is wrong with you?”  
“I thought you deserved a goodbye…”  
“Why me? Have you ever thought about Mycroft, your own brother? Or did you just want to know that I’d be traumatized with your death for my whole life?”  
“I just wanted-needed to get rid of my pain, John. You heard Donovan. I’m not trustful. I’m psychotic. I’m unstable. But the one thing that had gotten me was ‘One day, we’ll be standing around a body, and Sherlock Holmes will be the one that put it there.’ I overheard her, saying anything hurtful that she could throw at me. And all I could think was, ‘Instead of being a murderer that they believe I could be, why not give them the corpse of someone they’ve been meaning to see.’”  
“You’re sick,” John whispered slowly, but his eyes contrasted his rage with pity.  
“I was just tired of feeling different. I felt so alone, and I just wanted to unfeel the emotions I felt.”  
John stared silently into Sherlock’s watering eyes, debating on the truth of Sherlock’s speech before pulling the taller man into a hug. Sherlock halted, his eyes widened as John’s arms surrounded his body, pulling him into John for a hug. He slowly untangled his arms and reached behind John, to place his arms securely around him, barely noticing the stray tear that fell from his cheek.  
“You can’t say goodbye. I won’t let you,” John mumbled into Sherlock’s black trench coat, rubbing his hand into small circles as he felt Sherlock held on tighter, afraid to let go.  
“I’m not dead yet, John. Not with you by my side.”


End file.
